


Egg$y

by Scandalmuss



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Alcohol, Canon Rewrite, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, M/M, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-17 08:37:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5861878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scandalmuss/pseuds/Scandalmuss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy and Harry meet the night before Eggsy is arrested. At a party thrown at some rich dude's house. The "Rich Dude"? Chester bloody King.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Egg$y

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MangoMartini](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MangoMartini/gifts).



> Prompt: Sort of an AU but not really. Have you heard the song "Party at a Rich Dude's House" by Kesha? If not, go listen. Please. And now think of a fic where, instead of bailing Eggsy out of jail, he meets Eggsy when Eggsy wakes in his house, passed out after a crazy party started because he knew someone who knew someone who worked as a cleaner for Harry's house and knew Harry would be out of town and thought it would be fun to break in and trash a rich dude's house for a party. It can totally also be Merlin and Harry's house and an OT3 of Merlin/Harry/Eggsy or just Harry/Eggsy whatever~ But yeah. A sort of alternative start to canon Kingsman.  
> **Author's note** I took the prompt and kinda ran with it! I made a few changes here and there and I hope you like it!! Also, that Ke$ha song is AWESOME!

_“Come on, mate!” Jamal nearly whined. “This rich bastard screwed over Ryan’s brother!”_

  _Eggsy Unwin looked across the pub table at his best mates. They’d been friends since childhood and they’d seen each other through any number of sticky situations, like when Jamal’s mum got laid off and the boys pooled their money together to make sure she could make rent, or when Ryan got caught with a stolen car and they lit a fire in a nearby dumpster to distract the coppers so they could all get away and his mates had always been there for Eggsy when his life got shit on by his stepdad, Dean. Ryan’s mum was a nurse so they often went to her if Eggsy needed a ‘no questions asked’ stitching up. Through thick and thin, they were mates for life._

  _Eggsy still looked unsure, “What did he do again?”_

  _Ryan pouted into his pint, taking a big gulp. “He made my bruv do all the refinishin’ in his kitchen, only to then say his work was shite and kicked him out wiffout payin’ ‘im!” He exhaled sharply, “That was like a month’s worth a work, guys! Thousands of pounds lost. Fuckin’ wanker.”_

  _It was a rule within their friendship that you don’t fuck one of them over without having to deal with the other two. Eggsy pursed his lips, “So how’s this fucker gonna pay?”_

 And that’s how the party to end all parties started.

 They knew that the man, Chester King, would be out of the country in a few days. Ryan’s brother knew the security system well enough and was able to explain it to Eggsy. The boys put together a guest list, talked their favourite DJ into performing and sent out mass texts advising people to bring any alcohol they could. A party of this magnitude wouldn’t be able to go unnoticed if they bought all the alcohol themselves and they certainly wouldn’t have been able to afford it either.

 With guests, music and drinks taken care of, they just needed to get everything carted out to the country estate. As Ryan’s brother wasn’t using his work truck, the boys loaded everything they could into it and started the long drive out of the city.

 

******

 

“Harry, are you up for a quick stop off at Arthur’s?” Merlin asked, hoping that the agent would be amenable to checking in on Arthur’s house. Especially since it was out in the country and Harry had just gotten off the plane at HQ and by Merlin’s info, was already waiting for a cab by the front steps.

 Harry sighed exasperatedly. “Merlin, seriously? The cab just pulled up!”

 “I know, Harry. Chances are it’s just his dog that’s triggered the damn security system-”

 “That isn’t Kingsman sanctioned,” Harry interrupted.

Merlin groaned, “Yes, the security system, _that has nothing to do with us_ , has been triggered and my guess is, it’s his damn dog again. Just do me this favour, Harry. Stop by and lock the dog back up till the maid gets there in the morning and grab a bottle of that whiskey he hoards. You should at least get some sort of recompense for this trip. Hell, I’ll even let you take the Jag out there. Does that pique your interest?”

 Harry hummed, “Possibly. Make it the jet black jaguar and a promise of the next two days off and you’ve got yourself a deal.”

 “Oh thank Christ, Harry. I’ll tell the security company that I’ve sent someone to check it out.”

 

 ****

 

As much as Harry loved driving his favourite Jaguar, he hated knowing that it was because he had to go kennel Arthur’s bloody dog. The man had zero respect for others sometimes and he made it seem like he was constantly the victim. Harry pursed his lips at the thought of tipping over one of Arthur’s “priceless” vases, claiming that the dog had done it. With the security system off, there’d be no way to prove otherwise. He grinned to himself, _yes, that’s exactly what I’m going to do._

As he drove nearer to the estate, he could start to see unusual lights and heard the faint thump of a bass-heavy song. With a slack jaw, Harry drove up the crowded lane, staring at all the vehicles and stragglers making their way up to Chester’s house. He pulled up and parked near the house, getting out and whipping his head around, trying to take in everything that was happening, “Merlin?”

“Christ, that music is loud.”

Harry gaped at a pair of teenagers making out on the hood of a car, “How long ago did the security system get tripped?” He could hear Merlin’s fingers flying across his keyboard.

“Fifteen minutes before you left the estate. How the hell did they set that up in fifteen minutes?!”

“They didn’t. They must’ve bypassed the security system.” Harry grimaced, picking a bra off of the hedge, “How the hell did this even happen?”

Merlin chuckled, “Well,  whoever bypassed the security system has a place at Kingsman if they want it. Chester had a state of the art system installed!”

Harry squinted at the collection of bottles on the front step, “If I didn’t know you any better, I’d say you sound impressed.”

“Guilty.”

“Right, well, I’ll have to be a buzzkill and shut this down, won’t I?”

“Not unless you find someone to say, unwind with?”

Scoffing, Harry made his way into the mansion, “I will not be fucking some stranger in Chester King’s house, Merlin. But thank you for thinking of me,” he added, sarcastically.

Harry’s eyes scanned the main foyer and the beginnings of the living room. The music was so loud, he could feel it in his chest. Furniture was pushed to the sides of the room, rugs were rolled up and the living room was currently the dance floor. Bodies writhed against each other and the temperature was suddenly much warmer; Harry pulled at his collar, trying to get some cool air on his neck. The lights had all been dimmed but the party starters had brought strobe lights and glow lights and other lights that Harry couldn’t even name, “Where the fuck do I even start, Merlin?”

Merlin chuckled, “Well, considering a man in a bespoke has yet to pull ANY attention, my guess is you’ll have to take the music away to get anyone to notice you.”

“Ugh. Fucking hell.” Harry rubbed the back of his neck. “I can’t even tell who is in charge of the music!” His eyes cast around the party, his nose scrunching at the smell of what could easily be described as alcohol-infused sex. He sighed and made his way through the mass of grinding bodies.

“Ooo!” Merlin’s voice was excitedly high-pitched.

“What?!” Harry murmured angrily, trying to stop a young, scantily clad woman from brushing glitter against his suit.

“I take it back, Harry. Someone _has_ noticed you.”

Harry’s head whipped around, “Who?”

“At your six,” Merlin said, trying desperately to stifle his laughter.

Harry turned around to see the dance floor part almost dramatically to direct his attention to the blond young man, clad only in tight black boxer briefs. The intense stare from the man was causing Harry to flush so much that he was thankful for the low lights.

“Your vitals have spiked, Galahad,” Merlin said, with an obvious shit eating grin on his face.

Clearing his throat and cursing out Merlin, Harry walked towards the young man and his coy fucking smile. _Dammit._

“How long have you been here?” Harry shouted over the music. Upon closer inspection, the young man was more handsome than Harry had anticipated. His blush would be obvious as close as they were. _Focus, Hart_.

“Hours. You just get here?” the smile wouldn’t leave the young man’s face.

“How on earth have you been here for hours when the security system was tripped nearly twenty minutes ago?!” Harry shouted incredulously.

The young man shrugged, “What can I say? I’m good at what I do, bruv.” He licked his lips and the delighted expression on his face when he noticed Harry’s eyes tracing the movement was nearly too much.

Harry crossed his arms, “That was a state-of-the-art security system!”

“And this ain’t my first rodeo.” The young man suddenly grabbed Harry’s tie and stood on his tiptoes to whisper in Harry’s ear, “And I do love a good _ride_.” He lightly licked Harry’s earlobe and slid back down to his normal height.

Harry shut off the comm in his glasses, instantly angry at Merlin’s hysterical laughter ringing in his ears. He turned his attention back to the young man currently giving him the eye fucking of the century. “Are you always this big of a flirt?” he said evenly, trying to will down his arousal.

The young man pouted, “Too forward for ya?” His now signature grin replaced the pout, “I can be a good boy when I need to be.” he winked.

Stifling the urge to roll his eyes, Harry leaned in closer to study him, “How much have you had to drink?”

“Not nearly as much as you think I have.” His cocky grin fell off his face, “We needed to stick it to the wanker who lives here; he fucked over family. And I’m also not about to let the fittest bloke I’ve ever seen, just go unnoticed.” Slight panic crossed his face, “Wait, why _are_ you here? Fuck, you’re not the butler or somefing are you?”

Harry shook his head, “No, no, this is my boss’s house, the security company contacted me after the system got tripped.”

“Fuuuuck.” The young man said, dragging his hand through his pool wet hair. He looked around nervously for someone, his breathing starting to get heavier. He turned back to Harry, “Fuck mate, have you called the cops yet? Jesus, we’re fucked.” His head continued to whip around, trying to locate his friends.

Harry was suddenly very grateful he’d shut off the comms in his glasses because he didn’t need Merlin cursing him out in Gaelic for what he was about to say. He put his hand on the young man’s shoulder gently, still managing to startle him and leaned in to whisper in his ear, “Are you looking to get fucked?” he said wolfishly.

The young man froze and stared at Harry as he pulled back. His eyes searched Harry’s face for any sign that this was a trap. His pink mouth hung open slightly, still in awe of Harry’s words. He looked around to see that no one else had noticed the suited man in the middle of the dancefloor. He cautiously looked back up at Harry, “Are you takin’ the piss, mate?!”

Harry sighed. He should be ‘taking the piss’ but he was still mad at Arthur for sending him on that idiotic mission. And then he had to come all the way out to the middle of fucking nowhere to reset his security system; only to find that the cause wasn’t a dog but at least fifty people having a raging party. A party that caused the kind of mess that couldn’t be undone in a night, even if he stopped it now.

Harry gave the young man in front of him a good once over. Opportunities like this didn’t come along often and Harry was suddenly riled up enough that he muttered “Fuck it.” and leaned back into the young man’s space, “No, I’m not. The man that owns this house is a right bastard and chances are, you haven’t found his real liquor cabinet yet. Let’s have some fun.” He pulled back and winked at the young man.

Suddenly realizing that he was about to get his wish, Eggsy shouted, “Call me Gary!”,  gleefully.

Harry grasped Gary’s hand and led him towards the study, “And you can call me Harry.”

 "Gary and Harry!” he laughed, trailing behind Harry.

 

*****

 

Eggsy looked around the antique styled study. Wood panelling covered the walls that weren’t covered by bookshelves. He let his eyes cast around the room till they landed on the backside of his new friend, Harry. He was bent over picking the lock on one of the lower cabinets. “Won’t your boss be mad at you?”

 Harry turned to look at Eggsy, “Gary, it’s the least of my worries right now,” he grinned, mischievously.

 “Oh? And what’s got you worried right now?” he said, sauntering towards the older man.

 Harry stood up and proudly displayed a bottle of expensive as fuck looking whiskey. His eyes cast down Eggsy’s frame, causing the young man to blush. “My worry, at the moment, is if you are cold at all. I’m assuming you went in the pool and that’s where you managed to lose the rest of your clothing, save for the underpants and that chain around your neck,” he grinned, turning around to grab two crystal glasses.

 Eggsy looked down at his necklace, mildly panicked about the medallion having gone missing. His fingers ran along the chain around his neck till they touched upon the medallion resting against his back. He really didn’t want to have to explain anything about it so he left it against his back and slowly made his way over to Harry. The older man turned around and made a delighted sound by how close Eggsy suddenly was. Eggsy let his hands drift up to the tie around Harry’s neck and started to loosen it.

 Once the tie was loose enough to fit over Harry’s head, Eggsy lifted it off only to put it on himself, straightening it and tightening it around his neck. He looked up at Harry and bit his lip, “I’m all warmed up now, Harry.”

 Harry’s nostrils flared as he inhaled sharply, “Careful,” he warned. The warning was actually more for himself than Gary. The young man was already tempting before he took Harry’s tie and wrapped it around his gorgeous neck, but now? Harry was going to have to pace himself if he wanted to maintain any semblance of control.

 Gary grinned and ran his hands down the tie, cataloguing the way Harry’s eyes tracked the movement. He nodded to the alcohol, “Let’s have a shot then, yeah?”

 He scoffed, “No, no, dear boy. This is 30 year old Dalmore. One does not shoot, fine whisky like this,” Harry chastised. He rolled his eyes as Gary pouted dramatically, “Oh, you’ll be fine.” Harry let his hand rest on Gary’s bare shoulder. He chose not to notice the small shudder that ran through the young man’s body. “Perhaps I should ask what you want to drink?”

 A Cheshire-like smile spread across Gary’s face. “Tequila.”

 “Tequila?” Harry scoffed.

 Gary nodded, “Body shots.”

 Harry stared him. The only body shots he was familiar with were the ones caused by guns and left bruises through the bulletproof kingsman suits. He could just imagine Merlin’s voice in his ear, giving the definition of body shots and making him feel like an idiot. His eyes glanced back up to Gary’s face, “You’ll have to pardon my ignorance, but what is a _body shot_?”

 Gary grabbed Harry’s free hand, “I’d rather _show_ you,” He grinned.

 

 …..

 

And that’s where Harry’s night got a bit hazy. He remembered his utter delight at discovering what body shots were and how he nearly got hard while straddling Eggsy’s body on Chester’s antique cherry wood dining table. His jacket got lost somewhere on the way to the dining room and he had been hovering over the boy in his trousers, Oxfords and a button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He remembered licking the salt off of Gary’s stomach, _Christ, those abs_ , and then grabbing the shot glass of tequila without the use of his hands, he ignored the moan around the lime in Gary’s mouth at that particular skill. After the shot of less than quality tequila burned down his throat, he eyed Gary’s mouth hungrily. He picked the lime out the young man’s mouth, threw it across the room and leaned down to lick his way into the offered opening.

That body shot turned into several more shots straight from the bottle and a grind session on top of the most expensive table Harry had ever seen. Aside from being painfully turned on, he was beyond excited to be grinding down onto a handsome as fuck boy on the table that Chester bragged about incessantly. _Serves that bastard right_ , Harry thought as he pulled another groan out of the young man underneath him with a calculated hip roll.

The night then turned into a shot for shot challenge, leading to Harry losing several items of clothing, a potentially embarrassing dare to chicken dance across the makeshift dance floor for Gary and a victory-related lapdance for Harry. Harry had been impressed at the young man’s alcohol tolerance; he’d lost count around the tenth shot.

Which explains why the next thing he could recall was snorting himself awake with Gary wrapped around his waist like an octopus, the party clearly having ended hours earlier. He had gently moved Gary aside so he could attempt to stand, only to fall back onto the hard surface- _What are we lying on?!_ -because his world was spinning. Harry had felt the insistent pulse of his phone in his pocket - _when did I put my pants back on?_ \- and took it out carefully avoiding any excessive movement. He could barely keep one eye open has he leaned in closely to read the text.

 **Merlin:** _Get your prick out of his arse and come outside. I’m waiting._

Harry immediately glared at his phone, angry that Merlin assumed they’d had sex and at the sarcastic parental tone the text was in. But the last thing Harry wanted to do was to have Merlin’s deep voice giving him shit, all the way back to HQ. All he could manage was a “yep” in response before it became too hard to hold up the phone anymore.

Each second he was awake, his body was sending more and more reminders of how he was far too old to have partied like that. His head obviously pounded, his mouth was so dry that he’d give his left eye for a tall glass of water and his back ached because they were not sprawled out on a bed like he’d hoped but a fucking billiards table in Chester’s games room. Harry’s head thunked down against the green velvet of the table, “For fuck sakes,” he hissed.

He felt Gary groan a little and shuffle impossibly closer to him. What had he gotten himself into? He was comfortably in his 50’s, a goddamn spy and here he was with a twenty-something twink, wrapped around his waist after a night of drinking to excess and any number of sexual activities. _For fuck sakes._ Harry waited for Gary’s breathing to normalize before he tried to make his escape. As gingerly as possible, he maneuvered himself out of Gary’s tentacle-like arms and slowly leaned back against the table, his legs uncertain about holding up his weight. With one last longing look at Gary and his gorgeous body, Harry made his way out of the house and into the _thankfully_ not that bright yet, sunrise. He still shielded his eyes from the sun poking out behind the clouds as he slowly sauntered to Merlin’s car.

“I don’t want to hear about it,” he said as soon as he sat down in the car. Merlin’s responding chuckle seemed like it echoed in his skull, “Oh fuck off.”

“No, I don’t think I will,” Merlin said smugly, turning the car around, “I know I joked about you ‘unwinding’ with someone last night but I never actually thought I’d be picking up your hungover arse the next morning.”

Harry rested his face against the cool window. It felt amazing, “It didn’t help that I was pissed at Chester. That may have been the catalyst.”

Merlin laughed quietly, “Oh, and the nearly naked young man had nothing to do with it?”

Harry lolled his head over to face Merlin, a grin played at his lips, “Well I’m not going to deny that he wasn’t the most fucking lovely consolation prize. Thinking I had to go out to deal with that stupid dog, only to be met with him? No complaints. Ever.” His eyes drifted shut, keeping them open was too much.

“Did you at least leave your number or something?”

Harry’s eyes shot open, “Why the fuck would I have done that?” he grumbled.

“Why the hell not?!” Merlin threw up an arm incredulously, “It’s been years since you’ve had a run in like that one, why not make it last a bit longer?”

Harry chuckled mirthlessly, rubbing his face in irritation, “Because, I can almost guarantee that in the sober light of day, that boy wouldn’t give me a second glance and would be terrified that we’d fooled around together. I’m not exactly his type.”

Merlin coughed into his fist, “Sugar daddy!” and he coughed again. He ignored Harry’s glare, “You don’t know that though. I can make sure he gets your number if you change your mind.”

“Oh fuck off.” Harry hugged himself, just wanting to go to sleep.

“Look at it this way, you can relive the whole thing as much as you want.”

Without opening his eyes, Harry mumbled, “How?”

Merlin’s laughter got darker, causing Harry to perk up a bit. “Because, dearest friend, you may have shut off the comms, but you sure as shit didn’t shut off the video recording.”

Harry paled, “No… How much did you bloody see?!”

“I was rather busy with Lancelot in Argentina so I only checked in on occasion. But I stopped checking in after you had the boy on his knees with your cock-”

“NO. STOP NOW.” Harry interrupted while Merlin laughed heartily, “You’re the worst friend.”

“Hardly. I’m your best friend. I did say that I stopped watching. I have no idea what else you idiots got _up_ to.”

“I hate you.”

“And I just feel awful about that,” Merlin said dramatically, “Relax Harry, the clean up crew will be there within the hour and I’m sure your boy will wake up soon enough and get a lift home from one of the other overnight guests. Chester will never know what happened at his house and we can all go back to our own lives,” he paused, “And you _will_ have to go to medical to get tested.”

Harry groaned and tried to curl in on himself. He felt like a bag of smashed arseholes and just wanted to sleep.

 

……

 

Eggsy opened his eyes, only to shut them immediately. How the fuck did he survive a night like last night? His arm slapped against the cold velvet of the pool table, feeling around for his partner in crime. He chanced a peek at the vacant spot next to him, his heart dropping a little when he realized that Harry probably wanted to get the fuck out of there once he got a good look at him. “Ughhhh,” his groan echoed. He rubbed his hand down his face and sighed. _Where the fuck were his mates?_

He blindly grabbed for his phone in one of the pool table pockets. _Fuck_ , he should’ve gotten Harry’s number. Then an even more crushing thought hit him, what if Harry wasn’t even his real name? Fucking hell, now Eggsy was surely at square one again. “He’d probably want nothin’ to do with me anyways,” he told the empty room.

Turning his phone on, he saw several missed calls from his mum and his mates. A few texts that said, “Have a good night with your bespoke bloke!” and “Ask him if he’ll be ur sugar daddy!” and the ever colourful, “Get fucked raw, mate!”

He started to dial Jamal, slowly sitting up, taking care not to cause his brain to explode. Jamal picked up immediately and Eggsy could hear Ryan’s catcalls from wherever they were.

“Mate?! How was it?!” Jamal asked eagerly.

“How the fuck do you think it was?! I’m still at the house, you wankers! Why the fuck did you leave me here?!” he said quietly but angrily at the same time.

There was a pregnant pause on the other line, Eggsy could hear Jamel trying to shush Ryan, “What the fuck do ya mean you’re still at the house?! I thought that bloke was taking you home!”

“I’m sitting on the fucking pool table in my underwear and-” his free hand ran down Harry’s tie, “- fuck and his tie!” he huffed.

“Umm do ya need us to come get ya?” Jamal asked quietly.

Eggsy’s hand fell back against the table, landing on something soft. He turned to look at Harry’s abandoned jacket that he must’ve used as a pillow. “Hang on.” He said brusquely. He poked around in the pockets till he found a pair of keys. “I’ve got his keys. He drives a fucking Jag, boys.”

“A Jag?!” Jamal shouted, causing Ryan to shout back, “Oooo somebody’s got a sugar daaaaaaddy!!”

“Fuck off!” Jamal responded before turning his attention back to Eggsy, “So is he still there, mate? If not, it wouldn’t be stealin’ if you were just driving it home for ‘em, right?”

Eggsy sighed laboriously, “Do I have anyfing left to lose, bruv?”

 

…..

 

 _God bless the doctors at HQ ,_  Harry thought to himself as he woke up.

They’d put him in a surprisingly comfortable bed (anything was better than that billiards table) and loaded up an iv with the closest thing to a hangover cure and just let him sleep. Harry was bundled up in a few different blankets; he was without his jacket, _dammit_ , his tie, _worth it_ and the keys to the Jaguar, _sorry Merlin_. He’d luckily avoided Merlin’s ire for losing the keys, the Scot felt bad for the state Harry was in; and if he played up his symptoms a bit to get out of a lecture, no one was the wiser.

Harry looked at his watch, it had been quite some time since his late night with Gary and he thought about the young man often. Harry was not the type to leave a lover of sorts alone the following morning, unless it was a mark of course, so he had some residual guilt about leaving Gary without so much as a phone number. _It’s for the best,_ he thought. Although Harry was quite eager to get home and watch the footage from the night before. Maybe a nice glass of wine, his laptop, a roaring fire and the visual memories of being around such a gorgeous specimen, would be how Harry’s evening played out.

Unfortunately, that’s not how it happened. Merlin had come into the med bay around midnight and jostled Harry awake.

Harry refused to open his eyes, “Bugger off Merlin, Dr. Egeware said I could stay till morning.”

“Harry.”

Harry immediately jumped up at Merlin’s sombre tone. He felt his heart drop as he took in Merlin’s face, “Jesus, what’s wrong?”

“Its Lancelot, Harry.” Merlin rested his hand on Harry’s shoulder, “He’s gone.”

Harry felt as if the world had slipped out from underneath him. Lancelot- no, James- James had become a close friend, a rebellious partner if Harry ever needed one and even just thinking about him, brought up memories of Lee Unwin. It had been seventeen years since Lee’s death and he had never forgiven himself for it. Christ, first Lee, now James. Harry’s heart ached and in that moment, he realized that someone else would be worse off than him.

He clutched his chest as if he could stop his heart from wanted to free itself from his body.

“God, how is Percival handling this?”

Merlin shook his head, “Not well. He actually had to be sedated, but he’s with Ella, the counsellor, now.”

 "For fuck sakes.”

 “I know, Harry.”

 A moment of silence passed between the two friends. Merlin was the first to speak, “Arthur is flying back and we’ll be toasting Lancelot this morning.”

 Harry’s ears perked up at the mention of Chester, “Christ, and Chester’s house?”

 Not paying Harry much attention, Merlin flicked away a notification on his tablet, “It’s all sorted. By the time the clean up crew got there, everybody was gone. Including your boy _and the Jaguar_ , thank you very much.” Before Harry could interrupt at the “your boy” comment, Merlin flicked away another notification, “Ugh. Regardless of how fond you were of this boy, I had to report the car as stolen. I’m still waiting to hear from the police on it’s whereabouts.”

 Harry glared at Merlin, “You’re working under the assumption that he stole the car, Merlin. Anybody at that party could have done it! He might not even be that type of person.” He’d barely known Gary but he was already embarrassingly fond of the boy. _Fond enough to stand up for him, apparently,_ Harry thought to himself, “Won’t your face be red when the car is found by some dumpster in the dodgy bit of London?”

 “Right, of course your scenario is bound to happen. I look forward to wiping that smug grin off your face,” Merlin smirked maliciously.

 

…..

 

“So you’re not gonna tell us why you have that car?” The lanky police officer questioned.

Eggsy crossed his arms and huffed. “I said I was returnin’ it.”

The police officer chuckled, “Right. Naturally.” He took a look down at Eggsy’s rap sheet and decided to change his tactics, “Now look, Eggsy, this isn’t the first time you’ve been in here, but this is the first time for something this serious.” He took a good look at the pouting criminal in front of him. There was no delicate way to continue this conversation and he wasn’t looking forward to the kid’s reaction, “You’ve been brought in on solicitation charges before, Eggsy. Does that car belong to a - for lack of a better word- client? Did he owe you money?””

Eggsy’s rage was instantaneous, “Are you fucking kidding me?! Oh my fucking god, this is fucking perfect! You wankers always assume I was on my knees in some fucking alley every time I’m in here! This is bullshit! I was trying to return the car! Nofing else!” he slammed himself back in his metal chair.

“Eggsy, you have to understand that that’s kind of hard to believe. That car is worth nearly one hundred thousand pounds! I honestly can’t see someone in your situation ‘returning’ a car like that.”

“Fuck off.” Eggsy said angrily, slouching further into his seat.

The police officer sighed. He was trying to give this kid a chance, “Look, we’ll lower your sentence if you can give us the name of your… friend.”

The young man’s glare focussed on the police officer, “I ain’t ever grassed anyone up and I’m not about to start now. And for the fucking record, he ain’t a fucking client, neither,” he huffed, “I want my fucking phone call.”

The police officer threw back his head and inhaled deeply, trying to calm the rage inside of himself. He stood up and ripped up the untouched confession sheet, “Well, I hope it’s to your mum, tell her you’re gonna be eighteen months late to your dinner.”

Once the officer was out of the room, Eggsy looked around for the phone. His mum was going to kill him. He ran his hand through his hair and let it slide down the back of his neck. The cold of the medallion stilled his movements. He quickly undid the chain and held it out in front of him. He picked up the phone and dialled the number on the back of the medallion.

For the few seconds it rang, his heart felt like it was going to explode out of his chest.

“Hello, Customer Complaints, how may I help you?” a very pleasant voice said.

“Um, my name is Eggsy Unwin, no, sorry. Gary Unwin and I’m...up shit creek? I’m in Holborn police station and my mum said to call this number if ever I needed help and-”

The pleasant voice cut him off, “Sorry sir, wrong number.”

A memory flashed in Eggsy’s mind, “Wait! Wait! Um, oxfords, not brogues?” he said carefully.

There was a lengthy pause before the pleasant voice spoke up again. “Your complaint has been duly noted, sir and we hope that we have not lost you as a loyal customer.” and she hung up.

Eggsy held on to the phone tightly, hoping he hadn’t heard what he heard. But she was gone and he was supremely fucked. He dropped the phone on the table. What the fuck was he going to do?

..…

 

Merlin walked into Harry’s office, “You’re never going to fucking believe this,” he said, not taking his eyes off of his tablet.

Harry barely lifted his eyes from his paperwork, “Oh do enlighten me, Merlin. It’s not as if I’m busy at all,” he said sarcastically.

“Quit being a bastard and pay attention for once,” Merlin gritted out.

Looking up as if it was the hardest thing ever, Harry made eye contact with Merlin. Making sure he looked as bored as humanly possible.

Merlin’s smug grimace returned and he held out his tablet towards Harry, “Lee Unwin’s son called in his favour today.”

Harry all but snatched the tablet out of Merlin’s hands, scrolling through the boy’s extensive list of misdemeanors and he nearly collapsed when he got to his mug shot. Harry felt like the blood was draining out of his body, “No…” he whispered.

Merlin snatched back his tablet, “Oh yes, Harry. Your boy from last night was none other than Gary “Eggsy” Unwin!” he smiled maliciously, “And you’ll be happy to note that I was bloody right. He was caught with the car.”

Harry just stared off into the distance, “What are the fucking odds?!” he cried out, “I just- oh my god, Merlin! What do I do?!”

“You do what you’d always planned to do when the Unwin’s called in their favour. You make sure it happens and give the lad a lift home. Maybe offer him a position at Kingsman. Not only is he skilled with security systems, he’s also one hell of a driver. The CCTV footage alone would’ve made me make him my recruit if I was allowed one,” Merlin said proudly, “Now get the hell up and go make a second acquaintance with your ‘Tequila Adonis’,” He chuckled.

“My what?!”

“You really ought to watch your recordings, Harry. Maybe your boy can delete them off of our servers so no one else gets scarred for life.”

“Lord help me.” Harry said, standing to put on his jacket.

Merlin laughed as he left the room, “After all these years Harry, God’s not going to take a call from you. Perhaps you should ask someone else.” He nodded down to the ground.

Harry definitely thought that if hell existed, every single thought he’d ever had about Gary, wait, Eggsy, would solidify his place there. _Fucking fuck_.

 

……

 

Eggsy looked at the security officer in disbelief. “I what?”

“You’re free to go, boy,” The older man said, quite exhausted with having to repeat himself to this kid.

Eggsy stood up slowly and carefully walked away from the room and the guard. His eyes kept shifting around, trying to see if this was a trick or not. He was fully expecting a police officer to jump out at him and arrest him for trying to leave the premises. But that never happened. His heart raced as he walked towards the front entrance, his head immediately dropping upon seeing his arresting officer walk past him angrily.

Eggsy pushed open the door and stopped a few feet away from the building. He looked back at it, in total disbelief that he was a free man. His mind raced with all the possibilities of that phone call. How on earth did his dad’s death warrant such a favour? He shook his head and walked down the steps; he was going to have one hell of a row with Dean when he got home. Maybe he shouldn’t go just yet. He was just about to pull out his mobile to call his mates when someone called out his name.

“Gary - or should I say Eggsy?”

Eggsy whipped around to find himself face to face with Harry, “Harry?” he could feel his cheeks heat up.

 Harry chuckled, “Yes, my name is Harry Hart, and I gave you that medal.” He nodded to the medallion around Eggsy’s neck.

 Shaking his head in disbelief, he stared at Harry in confusion, “Who _are_ you?”

 With barely a smirk, Harry answered, “I’m the man who got you released. You should also know that I knew your father. He saved my life seventeen years ago.”

 Eggsy’s mouth hung open, “Holy fuck.”

 The older man nodded, “Why don’t we go for a drink, Eggsy? I feel like we have... much to discuss.” He gestured to the waiting cab.

 Both men walked towards the cab, Harry opened the door for Eggsy and the young man got in silently. He was too overwhelmed to speak. Everything had happened so quickly. He wanted to be relieved at the fact that he wasn’t going to jail but at the same time, he was freaked out that the man he’d fooled around with last night, had been the same man that gave him his father’s medal. Like, seventeen years ago. _Holy fuck. I’m going to hell for this._ He looked over at Harry expectantly, as if just looking at him again would give him some sort of answer. The only thing it got him was a little flushed in the face. In daylight, Harry was even more handsome than Eggsy remembered. Eggsy rested his head against the back of the seat. He hated awkward morning after talks but it was best that he do it now versus when he had some alcohol in his system. He sat up a bit straighter, “Erm, Harry?”

 Jostled from his thoughts, Harry cleared his throat and turned to face Eggsy, “Yes?”

 Eggsy shoved his hands in his jacket pockets to stop them from fidgeting, “I know you wanna talk about last night but like, we don’t have to. It’s okay. It’s uh, it’s not a big deal.”

 Exhaling softly, Harry steeled himself for the anticipated let down that the boy was about to give him.

 “It’s like, last night was fun ‘n all but you don’t look like the type of bloke who’d be into some chav like me. You don’ have to feel awkward about it, it isn’t a new feelin’ for me or nothin’.” _Way to throw a pity party, mate,_  “Fuck, that’s not what I- I’m not trying to make you feel sorry for me, alright? I just wanted you to know that it’s okay. I understand.” He crossed his arms angrily across his chest. He was mad at himself for looking weak.

 Harry was stunned into silence. His mouth opened to offer condolences but nothing came out. Eggsy was staring out the window and not even paying Harry any attention. He looked towards the front seat and just stared blankly. Unexpected. This was unexpected. He knew the longer he was silent, the more withdrawn Eggsy was going to become. He turned to face the young man again and let his hand rest on Eggsy’s knee.

 Eggsy looked down at Harry’s hand and then up at Harry, nervousness blooming into hope.

 “Eggsy, I…-” He looked towards the driver, “I’d rather not have this conversation here, okay?” _Total cop out, Hart, jesus._ Harry’s resolve faded quickly as he watched Eggsy’s expression fall dramatically. He reluctantly removed his hand from Eggsy’s knee and placed it back in his own lap.

 Perhaps this was best. If he was to offer Eggsy a chance at becoming a Kingsman, there’d be no way they could carry on a relationship while he was in training. He was really doing the boy a favour. There should be no reason why someone as young as Eggsy should be saddled with an aging spy, twice his age. He sighed heavily and sank down slightly in his seat.

 

……

 

As the bartender collapsed against the counter, Eggsy stared open mouthed at Harry. Harry, the semi-humble tailor who had just demolished Rottie and his crew in possibly the most arousing display of violence Eggsy had ever seen. He tried to form words as Harry casually sat down, the older man lightly grabbing his pint of Guinness and finishing it off with flare. How the man looked completely unruffled was beyond Eggsy. Eggsy shifted uncomfortably in his seat, suddenly very aware of how he was _physically_ affected by Harry’s actions.

Harry gently placed his empty pint glass back on the table and sighed, “Sorry about that, had to let off a little steam.”

“Fucking hell, Harry!” Eggsy choked out, “You just- I mean, you- oh my god, Harry!”

Harry fought the urge to preen a little under Eggsy’s attention, “It is nothing to worry about, dear boy. Although I do regret doing it in front of you.” He took note of the sudden flush on Eggsy’s face and stared at him curiously.

“You really shouldn’t feel bad, Harry.” Eggsy shuddered, unable to reign in his arousal, a cat-like grin forming on his face. He leaned forward as if to whisper, but there was no need to whisper as they were the only two conscious people in the pub, “You _really, truly_ don’t need to feel bad, Harry. Is there… any way... I could thank you?” he winked.

Feeling his spine straighten to an alarming degree, Harry stared at Eggsy, his eyes wide. He leaned across the table, totally in shock at Eggsy’s words, “Are you bloody _flirting_ with me?!”

Even if rejection was bound to happen, Eggsy couldn’t stop himself, “Come on, Harry. You just took out my bullies and managed to look calm throughout the entire thing. Your hair isn’t even messed up! I’d have to be dead to not want you in me at this point.”

Harry blushed embarrassingly quickly, “You’re serious?”

Eggsy finally sat back against his seat, “Do you not want me to be?” he asked nervously.

Looking around the pub to make sure everyone was still passed out, Harry looked back at Eggsy sternly. As cocky as the young man had been, he shrunk a little under Harry’s intense gaze, “You won’t speak a word about what happened here?” he gestured to the mess of bodies spread across the pub.

Sensing he was about to get his way, Eggsy nodded happily, “Yes! Of course, I swear on my life!”

Harry sighed deeply and gave Eggsy a quick once over. He already knew this boy was going to be the death of him. He was silent for a few moments, thinking over his options. He knew all about Eggsy’s past and the last thing he wanted was to take the young man into the bathroom for a quick shag. Well, not the last thing. But it was cheap move and Harry was first and foremost a gentleman. He cleared his throat, “As much I would love to take you up on that right this second, I believe I may have a more interesting offer.”

Eggsy scoffed, “More interesting than a go at it in the loo?”

“Trust me, Eggsy. I will make it worth your while,” Harry grinned darkly.

.....

 

Eggsy stood nervously in front of the mirror. The fitting room definitely seemed larger than he expected, but having Harry so close made it seem a lot smaller. He could feel the older man’s body heat radiating behind him.

 Harry leaned forward, right into Eggsy’s personal space, “What do you see?” he whispered in Eggsy’s ear.

 Resisting the urge to turn and face Harry, Eggsy smirked at the mirror, “Well aside from seeing a young man who deserves something wicked and the gorgeous bloke who is going to give it to him, I see someone who wants to know who the fuck you are and what the fuck is going on. Because you sure ain’t a tailor.” He leaned back into Harry ever so slightly.

 The older man’s hands slid to Eggsy’s waist, under his jacket. “All in good time, dear boy.” Harry nuzzled against Eggsy’s neck, “Do you want to know what I see?”

 Eggsy fully leaned back into Harry, letting his head rest on the older man’s shoulder, “Hmmm what do you see?” he asked breathlessly. He felt Harry huff out a chuckle.

 “Aside from seeing an incredibly gorgeous young man, who is in fact about to get something wicked-” he smirked and nipped at Eggsy’s ear lobe. Harry straightened a little and made eye contact with Eggsy in the mirror, “I see a young man with potential. A young man who is loyal and can do as he’s asked. Who wants to do something good with his life.”

 Eggsy blushed, no one had ever said that kind of stuff about him. People stopped saying he had potential once he dropped out of gymnastics. From then on, people just expected mediocrity from him. To be fair, Eggsy believed it too. His mind was racing. For years he thought he’d live and eventually die in the estates. Then Harry waltzed in and just started telling him things he’s always wanted to believe about himself but never thought anyone else would, “You’re too much, Harry,” he said meekly.

 Harry walked around and faced Eggsy, “Nonsense. What I have said about you is in no way inaccurate. If I can believe in you, maybe you can too,” he smiled.

 And just like that, Eggsy was on him, awkwardly pushing the older man up against the mirror, trying to get at Harry’s mouth. Once Harry realized what Eggsy was going for, he adjusted accordingly and properly slotted his mouth against Eggsy’s. Eggsy groaned at finally being able to kiss Harry again. Although he didn’t remember much from the night before, he certainly remembered what a great kisser Harry was.

 With his hands on Eggsy’s waist, Harry turned them around and started walking backwards to the leather chair. Harry pulled away from the kiss and sat down, gesturing to his lap to Eggsy. The young man before him was a flustered mess. His cap was askew, his cheeks flushed and his mouth was a tempting pink line of hesitation. Without looking down, Harry could tell the young man’s jeans were tented in an uncomfortable way, “Have a seat, Eggsy.” His voice had gotten deeper and he enjoyed watching the chill go through the young man.

 Eggsy took a few steps towards Harry and sat down with his knees on either side of Harry’s thighs. Harry’s lap was warm and there was no way the older man would be able to miss Eggsy’s aching erection, against his stomach. Much to Eggsy’s delight, he could definitely feel Harry’s interest underneath him too. His hands slid up Harry’s chest and under his jacket, stopping once they felt something like leather. Confused, Eggsy attempted to remove Harry’s jacket, (with some help from the wearer) and was shocked and immediately turned on at the discovery of shoulder holsters. His fingers travelled up the straps almost in reverence. He looked up into Harry’s lust blown pupils, “Who _are_ you?” he whispered. Eggsy certainly did not yelp when Harry’s large hands came to rest on his arse and pulled him flush against the older man.

 Harry inhaled the smell of arousal and the tinge of fear the young man was giving off. His hand came up to cup Eggsy’s cheek, “I’m a Kingsman agent.”

  _Oh fuck that sounds hot._ Eggsy ground down slightly as he bit his lip, “Like a spy?”

 Harry’s fingers traced along Eggsy’s bitten lip, “Of sorts,” he grinned, “Are you interested?”

 Stopping his attempts to undo Harry’s tie, Eggys gawked at him, “Interested in you or a job?”

 “Well, I’m quite certain you’re interested in me.” Harry punctuated with a roll of his hips, causing their clothed cocks to brush together. He so enjoyed seeing Eggsy slam his eyes shut as if he could stop the moan escaping his lips, “But also a job, as a Kingsman. You’ll have to fight for it but it would make a world of difference in your life, Eggsy.”

 Eggsy’s face brightened, “So a shag and a job? You’ve twisted my arm bruv, of fucking course I’ll do it!” He then looked hungrily at Harry, “So you gonna teach me how to walk and talk proper, like in My Fair Lady?” he grinned, leaning down to kiss Harry’s neck.

 Harry couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his face, he brought Eggsy’s face back up to meet his own, “Well, aren’t you full of surprises?” He leaned forward and sealed his mouth with Eggsy’s. The kiss quickly got passionate and Harry groaned into Eggsy’s mouth as the young man tried to get even closer to him, their cocks practically ripping through the fabric to get to each other.

 They pulled away from each other, needing a breather. Eggsy finally got Harry’s tie undone and threw it across the room, “You’ve got no idea, bruv.” he grinned darkly, shrugging off his own jacket and tossing his cap on the slowly growing pile of clothes. His fingers trailed down Harry’s shirt front, undoing the buttons as he went. Eggsy was impressed that Harry’s hands stayed on his waist even though he could tell the older man was itching to get Eggsy’s clothes off. Once the shirt was undone, Eggsy exhaled dramatically, “I’m so glad I didn’t make these up,” he grinned, running his fingers down Harry’s abs, “You’re fucking gorgeous, Harry.”

 Now it was Harry’s turn to blush. He wasn’t entirely sure that Eggsy was fully interested until he sat down on his lap. They’d both jad had a fair amount to drink the night before and as much as Harry had hoped Eggsy was still attracted to him, he wasn’t sure; but now had the physical proof he needed, “My dear boy, I’m afraid I have to say the same about you.” His hands slid under Eggsy’s shirt until the boy took the hint and threw it on the pile of clothes. The skin on display in front of him was delicious. Harry wanted to bite and lick every single mole or freckle he could see, “Get your mouth over here,” he ordered.

 Eggsy happily obliged and they soon fell into a rhythm of snogging and grinding against each other. Harry’s hand’s didn’t stray far from the spectacular arse on his lap and Eggsy’s arms stayed linked around Harry’s neck for leverage. The heat in the small room was intense. With each roll of their hips, Eggsy would huff out a breathy moan, desperate for the release that he knew was soon.

 Harry’s hands grasped his arse possessively, each drag of the young man’s cock against his own was an exquisite torture. But the heat and the strain of the fabric was just too much. As Eggsy leaned into him, Harry laved small bites against his shoulder, licking the marks afterwards. His hand dove in between them, Eggsy stilled immediately, breathing hard against Harry’s ear. Harry felt more than heard the moan from Eggsy’s lips as Harry freed him from his jeans. He then set to pulling himself out of his trousers.

 Sitting back slightly, Eggsy looked at both of their cocks, side by side, “Fuck mate, that’s gonna _wreck_ me.”

 “Some other time I will take extreme joy in taking you apart with it, but this will have to do for now.” He licked his dry lips and grasped both of their cocks in his one hand. There was enough precome between them that he didn’t need anything else to make the process smooth and pleasurable. His firm grip was making them both breathe heavily onto each other.

 Eggsy leaned forward and rested his forehead against Harry’s as the older man’s hand stroked them off with brutal precision. “Ha-Harry,” Eggsy moaned, “Fuck, you’re good at this.” His hips thrusted up wildly, to meet Harry’s strokes.

 Harry bit at Eggsy’s shoulder again, “I happen to be full of surprises too,” he groaned. His free hand went from supporting Eggsy’s lower back to slipping into the boy’s loosened jeans, grasping the ample flesh on display. He felt Eggsy’s arms tighten around his neck as the boy choked off a loud moan.

 “I’m so close, Harry!” Eggsy almost cried. His hips now undulating at a quicker speed, chasing the orgasm he so desperately needed. Each stroke of Harry’s calloused hand down their joined cocks pushed Eggsy closer and closer to his finish. He could no longer form proper words, just needy little sounds with each exhale.

 Harry relished those sounds and the fact that he could pull them from the adonis in his lap. He’d been fighting off his own orgasm for a bit now, a gentleman always makes sure his partner finishes first. The heat licking at the base of his spine was intoxicating. He’d only wished they’d done this on that stupid table of Chester’s. With a final grab of the young man’s arse, Harry whispered hoarsely in his ear, “Come for me, Eggsy.” He felt the arse cheek in his hand clench as the young man spilled all over Harry’s hand and both of their chests, crying out Harry’s name. Harry was suddenly shocked by the power of his own climax, having Eggsy say his name like that. It pushed him right over the edge and he was left gasping for air against the bite-marked shoulder he was resting against.  

 After a few moments to catch their breath and to let their bodies come down from such an extreme high, Eggsy looked at Harry with uncertainty, “This-” he gestured between them. “-ain’t a one time deal, right?”

 Stroking back Eggsy’s sweat soaked hair, Harry chuckled, “I’m quite certain I’m addicted to you at this point.” His look sobered, “But becoming a Kingsman agent is serious business, Eggsy. I will try to see you as much as possible but you need to understand that I cannot be around you as often as we both would like. It would look like favouritism.”

 “I like being your favourite,” Eggsy smirked, his hands ghosting down Harry’s front.

 “Well, if you make it far enough, which I’m certain you will, we will be able to spend more and more time together and it won’t look suspicious.”

 Harry pushed Eggsy to his feet and grabbed a folded pocket square to clean them both off. Once they were both redressed, they faced the mirror again. Harry did up his jacket and kissed Eggsy’s temple, “Shall we move on?”

 Eggsy nearly bounced where he stood, “Yes, Harry!”

 Placing his hand against the mirror, he waited for the scanner to pick up and the elevator to start descending.

 “Oh fuck me!” Eggsy exclaimed loudly, watching the fitting room walls disappear, “Holy shit Harry, you’re the real fucking deal.”

 Harry laughed, “Of course dear boy. But you’ll have to remind me, was there a director’s cut of My Fair Lady that had this much cursing?” he teased.

 Eggsy shoved Harry’s shoulder, “Oh piss off! All you posh boys love a bit o’ rough!” he winked.


End file.
